Grief Is Not a Problem to Solve
Grief Can Be Really Strange
You can feel completely fine in the morning and be undone by something small in the afternoon.
A song.
A smell.
A birthday.
A familiar place.
You can laugh with your friends and then feel guilty for laughing.
You can be grateful for what you had and furious that you lost it.
You can miss someone terribly and still need a break from talking about them.
There is no right way to grieve.
And there is no timeline.
Sometimes, Other People Don’t Even Recognize That You’re Grieving
Sometimes, the loss is a person.
Sometimes, it’s a relationship, a friendship, a pregnancy, a home, a career, your health, or a future you thought was waiting for you.
You’re tired of being told how you’re supposed to feel, how long you’re supposed to grieve, or when it’s time to move on.
You don’t have to.
Sometimes You Need Somewhere to Put the Whole Thing
Your friends and family love you enormously. They may also be terrible at sitting with grief. Not because they don’t care, but because grief is uncomfortable.
They don’t know what to say. They steer the conversation somewhere easier.
And sometimes they’re grieving, too.
So you end up doing something grieving people are often very good at doing: Taking care of everyone else while you’re hurting.
You Get to Be the One Who Is Grieving
You don’t have to make your grief easier for me to sit with.
You don’t have to reassure me that you’re okay.
You don’t have to notice that I’ve gotten quiet and ask if I’m alright.
You don’t have to perform your grief.
We can talk about the parts you don’t want to say out loud to anyone who knows you.
The anger.
The guilt.
The relief.
The resentment.
And you can say the same thing ten times if that’s where you are.
You can change your mind.
You can laugh and cry in the same session.
You don’t have to take care of anyone else’s feelings while you do it.
You Don’t Have to Grieve Correctly
There is no gold star for grieving well.
You don’t have to be devastated every minute to prove that you loved someone. You don’t have to find the lesson. And you don’t have to be okay just because everyone around you has gone back to normal.
Grief doesn’t need to be made prettier.
It needs to be experienced.
Sometimes, we’ll talk.
Sometimes, we’ll sit with something that doesn’t have words.
Sometimes, we’ll laugh.
Sometimes, we’ll notice what’s happening in your body when a wave of grief comes through.
Sometimes, something terrible happens and it is simply terrible.
We can let it be that.
You Don’t Need to Have Your Grief Figured Out
You don’t need to be ready to feel better.
Call or text me at (530) 213-0696 to schedule a free 20-minute consultation.
We’ll talk about what’s bringing you in and see whether working together feels like the right fit.
You don’t have to make your grief sacred.
You don’t have to make it beautiful.
You just don’t have to carry it alone.